What the hell am I watching?

Why are these chicks so grumpy? Why do they really want to destroy the Eiffel Tower? Do they want to remove phallic symbolism from the world? What is up with the milk drinking thing.  What's the deal with the dude and his microphone? Why isn't there any kind of explanation about how the world became so dreary and dystopian? Is it an alternate history plot? Why does this movie keep drifting into weird cheese-ball scenes that look like obsession commercials? Why is the guy staring at the spoon? Is the future a desolate wasteland around Paris, or a lush hilly mountain paradise? I have so many questions! Why do I want to see this as a surreal complex experiment with hidden features that I can find in the background but alas! Nothing but fail!  FAQ Frequently Asked Questions is a film that makes me want to ask why it is so awful.